Yesterday, with the dinosaur game jam - as mentioned here and here - in the back of my mind, I kept going into the hypersensitivosaurus mode. To put it differently, I kept being distracted by all kinds of stimuli ( sounds, smells, feelings and - especially - thoughts ) and found it impossible to focus, let alone to focus on game making in a program that I hardly understand yet. Then I asked myself the question:
What would hypersensitivosaurus do?
and I decided to do something creative ( that wasn't game making ) instead of trying to be productive and failing at it. To be more precise, I started painting.
I thought I had written several posts on 'feeling like painting' again but I could hardly find a single one. I found a couple of write ups on drawing though, in particular one on Drawn to Drawing again but, if I'm really honest, I feel more like painting then like drawing and I believe this has been in the back of my mind for a long, long time. Since being a little Vincent - and learning about Vincent van Gogh at a young age - painting has always intrigued me. I have no clue though, why I never really went for it.
As I hope is the case for many of us, I remember the feeling of being in primary school and getting dressed up in a painting skirt ( to not ruin my clothes ) and then, a little later, how I was making a mess and enjoying it. Throughout the years, I started doing this less and less ( the painting I mean ). Painting was replaced by drawing. Not sure if my mom preferred us drawing, as it didn't leave a mess?
Mom, is this true?
Then, later, drawing led to writing and writing to filmmaking. Now I'm kind of doing all these things ( plus some game making ). Writing is my main focus, but it isn't enough for me, not enough to still the hunger for creation.
Back to Yesterday...
For a while, I had been looking at a bunch of painting utensils that were staring at me from the top of my living room cupboard, that is located next to the stairs leading up to my living room with inspiring mountain view. It's a low cupboard, so whatever is there is very much in sight.
Over the last months, I bought a set of small canvases ( to paint on ), twice, but I gave the first set away to @yangyanje - when we hang out in Switzerland - and kept ignoring the second set for a while. Yesterday, I couldn't ignore it any longer. Although I had bought some new paint, I decided to instead open the box of ancient paint accessories that I inherited from my grandmother. I believe they belonged to my grandfather, although I don't remember seeing him painting ever in my life. The box appeared to contain four brushes, several tubes of oil paint and two small glass bottles; one with 'essence of turpentine' and one with linseed oil.
I called my parents to tell them about wanting to paint and using this box set, as well as to ask them what to do with the linseed oil. My mom said it was meant to mix the paint / make it thinner. My dad told me to throw the paint away, if it was this old. A funny, or should I say 'typical', reaction.
My dad used to paint, in a not too distant past. His response to me talking about painting, proofs - once again - that he lost most of his creativity ( probably due to all the medication he has been taking in the last decade or so ). Such a shame! I always find it difficult to see creatives loose this very important side of themselves, which usually leads to depression ( the opposite of expression ). It's even harder to see this happening to your father. I tried to get him to paint again, several times, without much luck. Up till now. Note to self ( and to my mom ):
Dad should really read this post.
After talking with my parents for a bit, I set out to paint. I didn't wear any protective clothing, I made a mess, luckily not on my ( still untreated ) wooden floor, paint was all over my hands and some yellow paint was spilled on my yellow shorts. The result of this hour of creativity wasn't that impressive but the process was so much fun! I felt like a little kid again and couldn't stop myself from smiling. This feel good factor made me realize that I should do this 'way more often'. So I plan to paint more frequently from this moment in time onwards.
Please ponder the following:
If something feels good and we can do it easily, why wouldn't we try to implement it in our lives? Why don't we make it a habit?
Can you think of something that you really enjoy to do. Something you are hardly every doing? Could you make time for it? Prioritize it over other, less important things?
I will surely do some more painting, starting today. I will also spend some time on game making, but only if it feels good.
As soon as I start to feel time pressure, I will stop. Perhaps partaking in a 7 day jam wasn't the right idea. Knowing that my brother and his girlfriend will be around from tomorrow to Tuesday ( and that I won't have any time to work on the game those days ) doesn't help either. Anyhow, this isn't meant to be an excuse. I will try my utmost best to finish a dinosaur game. It probably just won't happen before the jam's deadline.
So, here's a message to all you kind people who left a comment on my hypersensitivosaurus post - @riverflows , @metametheus , @ryivhnn , @binkyprod and @kiaromauw :
Thank you for the support and for giving me the motivation to actually continue with this hypersensitivosaurus idea. I expect you to allow me to not rush this project. It will happen in due time. Feel free to remind me of this later, when I'm - once again - distracted by life and other forms of creativity ;>)
And here's some pictures of the mess I made and the stuff that I used to make a mess with:
For those of you who can actually focus and thus have the time to read more, here's a post I wrote on Van Gogh, somewhere last year:
Vincent ( van Gogh ) died at the age of 37
and another post on van Gogh - as well as a series of four ( autobiographical ? ) posts - written by a cool creative who, unfortunately, left the platform after only hanging around here for two months:
Vincent - Outsider Artist or Modern Master?
Around the Block - Short stories about a painter's life:
Part1,
Part 2,
Part 3
Part 4
All pictures are taken, for a change, with my GoPro Hero 5 Black, hence the fish eye effect.
